Hold My Tongue
by holidaysfromreality
Summary: Santana never thought her words made an impact - until she saw that there were people hearing them.


**It's almost five in the morning - but here's a coulda shoulda fic based off tonight's episode that would be cool if it happened in the future. (It's based off an idea mentioned by Heather/lawltard on Tumblr) I'm not sure how cohesive this is, so feel free to leave input. And this is almost my first story that isn't strictly Artie/Tina.**

**This is unedited, as per usual lately, so I apologize for any errors.**

**Disclaimer: I don't know Glee.  
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><p>Santana Lopez never had a problem with sneaking a sly insult before lunch. In fact, it was like an appetizer—telling Rachel Berry that her nose was big before a turkey sandwich or making a comment about Quinn Fabray's stretch marks before a slice of pizza. It helped her build up an appetite and get ready to digest. She never had a specific target in mind when she went searching for her before-meal snack, but lately she liked to take the round-about way to the lunch room in order to pass the locker of Artie Abrams.<p>

She had a lot of rivals at this point, but in her head, Artie was number one. And she made sure he knew it.

He was always alone when she passed him—she knew that Brittany always took a bathroom break before lunch and Artie always found them a table. They were _that _kind of couple, the kind of couple that repulsed her, the ones that had a _routine. _Where was the excitement in that?

She never stopped in front of him, it was always as she passed. Sometimes it was something creative, something snappy and smart-ass, but today she went for the classic. She said it almost casually, as if she was asking him how the weather was, "Cripple."

Santana was not expecting what happened next. She heard a sniffle, then a slammed locker door, and then nothing. She turned around to see Artie rolling into the library with his head down. The light-up wheels on his chair made the whole scene look more pathetic than it already did.

Never before had she _actually _seen someone cry over the things that she had said. She knew it happened but usually people waited until she was gone to avoid further torment. So now she was…baffled. And not so hungry anymore. She was so fascinated by his reaction, in a way, that she had follow him into the library.

She found him in the corner, wiping his face with the palms of his hands. His cheeks was red and his eyes little puffy when he moved his hands. There were tears on his cheeks, the tracks going up to his eyes. His little sniffles were almost silent, but deafeningly loud in her ears.

He was pretending to be reading a book in his lap and a tear dropped on one of the pages.

She tried to keep herself hidden but Artie said after a minute, "I know you're there. Have you come to say something else about my dead legs? Because I know. They don't work, they're ugly, they're useless, I get it. I've done your job, so you can go away now. Go make someone else miserable."

She pulled up a chair and set her bag in her lap, pulling out the pack of tissues that were reserved especially for Brittany and handed him one, "I'm not that much of a monster."

"That's what you think," he said, a little bit bitter, "Do you like making people feel horrible all the time?"

She was taken aback by his question. She tried to stammer out something, but she truly could not. She had been rendered speechless.

"Because it seems like you do," he continued, "Half the time, it seems like you say the things you do based on things you pull out of your ass." He wiped his eyes and let his glasses fall back into place, "Do you even know why I'm in this chair?"

She thought for a moment, then shook her head.

"Car accident. When I was eight…" he chuckled to himself, "I haven't even told Brittany that, really. Just in passing."

"So I'm the only one…" she started.

"Tina knows too," he said, "It's weird. I just have bad luck with girls…Tina cheated on with Mike and now Brittany. With you. Just when you think you've had enough bad luck…" He stopped himself, "I'm whining. My mom said I have to stop doing that."

Santana smiled slightly. Brittany had told her once that Artie was close with his mom—and at the time, she'd made a Momma's boy comment, but now she found it kind of touching.

"My mom says I need to learn to hold my tongue." She don't know why she said it. She just wanted to contribute to the conversation, because it made her feel less awkward. Talking to your rival that you just made cry was...awkward.

She wondered if Artie told his mother of the horrible things she said. She'd never thought about what happened after she said the things she's said.

He sighed, "It's not like I don't know how this goes—Bee and I will break-up, she'll end up with you, and I'll…I don't know. I wish I knew."

_Bee. _This…struck something deep inside with Santana. Artie and Brittany were a couple. A _real _couple. Not a ploy against her, not anything to do with her. They became whatever they were while she was figuring everything out and now that she had, she had been expecting too much.

It wasn't that she didn't want Brittany anymore. She still did. So much so, but now she was willing to wait. Relationships don't last forever. And even with this new outlook, she knew Artie and Brittany weren't permanent.

It was then she realized Artie was a person too.

"Don't tell anyone that it was me that asked," she said, "But can we be friends?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Seriously?"

"Answer before I change my mind, cr—Artie."

He nodded silently. She got behind his chair and started to push him and while he tensed up at first in fear that she would bash him into a locker bank or something like that, eventually he relaxed.

Just a few weeks ago, Santana wished her could admit her true feelings to Brittany.

When they entered the lunch room and found Brittany at a table, she said, "There you are."

Santana wasn't entirely sure who she was talking to. She now knew that there were two people that Brittany would be looking for.


End file.
